Tag: Make Shift Coffee House

Six Simple Ground Rules for a Civil Conversation

In this two-minute video, Craig tells a live audience about the six ground rules that we use at Make Shift Coffee House: 1) Speak from your experience, 2) Listen to understand, 3) Everyone gets a turn, 4) No one criticizes, 5) Neutral facilitation, and 6) Share with others. These rules were designed to help us navigate challenging conversations about strongly held political opinions, but they can also help us keep things civil in families, teams, organizations, and communities. Learn more about Make Shift Coffee House guidelines here.

This video has captions. To see them, click CC on the video screen.

Here’s what Craig says in the video (speaking to a live audience):

In a moment here I’m going to ask one of you to put up your hands; I’m going to ask for a volunteer to tell us your answer to this question: “What’s right and/or wrong about how we handle guns in America?” And I might ask you a follow-up question. I might ask you, like I did with these folks, “Why do you believe what you believe? Where does that come from?”

As we have our conversation here, I want to keep in mind some of these typical ground rules that we have at these Make Shift Coffee House conversations:

  • We’re mostly about listening. As I said in the beginning, we’re not here to change each other’s minds on these topics. We’re here to understand the topics and understand each other.
  • I’m asking you to speak from your personal experience. I want to know not just the theory, the law, or even the science. I want to know why you believe what you believe.
  • We’re going to try to give everybody a turn. I’m going to ask that you raise hands.
  • No one criticizes. We are not here to blame, criticize, shame, or offend anybody else. That’s just not the purpose of this. The purpose of this is to understand each other.
  • I’m being a neutral facilitator tonight.
  • And the last one there says “Share with others.” And my hope here is that — after the conversation tonight — tomorrow, next week, next month, you will share with others what you learned here about how people think about guns but also the ways in which we had the conversation. I am imagining that we’re going to have a very civil conversation tonight. We’re already off to a great start. Watch how that happens and try to model and replicate these techniques in your conversations in your questions tomorrow, next week, next month. Share with others.

When you speak from personal experience

When you speak from personal experience you are on solid ground. When you speak on authority of divine guidance or even on scientific authority, you are more subject to challenge. Craig explains in the video.

And he made this a video at a Make Shift Coffee House! It’s a place where people come to understand each other’s political views. Learn more here: MakeShiftCoffeeHouse.com

This video has captions. To see them, click CC on the video screen.

Here’s what Craig says in the video

Hi everybody! Hey it’s Craig Freshley here.

I’ve been thinking about speaking from authority. There are two or three different authorities that somebody can speak from when they’re trying to persuade others of a certain way; a certain belief.

One set of authority is scientific fact and when I speak from that place of authority, I might get in a debate about which scientific facts are more correct than others.

Another basis for authority is divine authority. I might say this is what God has told me to believe or this is what the Bible says and when I try to persuade somebody of something based on that platform of authority, I might find myself in a debate about whether my God knows better than your God.

But there’s a third basis for authority and that is personal experience. When I talk about what I have seen and what I have felt, I’m on solid ground. It’s very hard to argue with my personal experience and not only that, when I talk from a basis of personal experience, I am, when I’m at my best, I am allowing you to speak from the basis of your personal experiences and we don’t even have a debate.

My personal experience is true for me, your personal experience is true for you and it is speaking from a platform of personal experience; that’s what we do at a Make Shift Coffee House. We’re about to have a Make Shift Coffee House right now. It’s a place where we hear some music, we have some food.

Come on in, I’ll show you what’s going on here. We share our personal experiences and all we try to do is understand each other. People are going to be gathered here in a few minutes and we’re going to share some stories, we’re going to learn some things from each other, we’re going to ask people to sign up, and we’re going to sell stickers and we’re going to walk out of here each understanding more about where each other is coming from than when we walked in.

Thanks for listening everybody.