In principle, there is perhaps no other belief, value, or attitude that has a greater impact on group success than this one. Am I in it for myself or am I in it for the group? Is it more important that I win or that the group wins?
This principle applies to groups of two such as marriages and it applies to groups of three and larger all the way up to the human race at 7 billion.
When I am in it for myself I have a competitive mindset and a conflict-ridden road, at the end of which I might win. When I am in it for the group I have a collaborative mindset and a willingness to let go of personal hopes and gripes for the good of the group. There is no end.
In a believe in me culture there are winners and losers and all the conflict that goes into figuring out who is who. In a believe in us culture there are no losers. We are on the same team.
Practical Tip: Try to do what’s best for your group, not just what’s best for you. When I am in a group I try to find solutions that meet our interests, not just my interests.
It works well when I look out for both of us, and so do you.
An attitude of I believe in me brings conflict and might bring short term gains to one or a few. An attitude of I believe in us brings peace and group sustainability.
– Craig Freshley