Tips, Videos, Handouts

Trust takes over

Good Group Tips

In principle, when making good group decisions we try to get all the facts and fully understand before deciding. Yet it’s impossible to understand every detail, every nuance, every possibility, and that’s where trust takes over.

We work to understand as much as we can, but at some point we just need to trust our intuition, other people, and the process. It’s called faith.

For the rational person, the path to resolution is mostly paved with understanding, with a bit of trust at the end. The rational person wants as much evidence as possible. For the intuitive person, the path to resolution begins with a bit of understanding and then trust paves most of the rest of the way. Going mostly on gut feeling is very comfortable. For all of us, truly good decisions require some combination of understanding and trust.

Practical Tip: Work on both, understanding and trust. To understand: Gather the facts, hear all perspectives, review best practices, read, apply trial and error, listen to your heart. To build trust: Do things together, eat together, demonstrate honesty and dependability, support each other through hardships, tell stories, share pictures of your loved ones.

Answer as many questions as you can but at some point you have to decide even without every answer and it comes down to trust.

– Craig Freshley

Click here for one-page PDF of this Tip, a great way to print or share.

Put the Tips in action for your group. Click here to learn about Craig’s Keynotes and Seminars.

In-front-of messaging

Good Group Tips

In principle, when I talk in front of a group, even if my words are directed to an individual, I am sending multiple messages. Leaders, politicians especially, are acutely aware of who they are speaking in front of and often deliver messages designed to impact multiple groups and influence multiple issues.

When I look toward the back seat and ask my teenage daughter a question in front of her friends, I know that the answer she gives is mostly a message to her friends. When the diplomat speaks on television in front of the world her words are carefully crafted for multiple audiences.

Practical Tip: Don’t take everything you hear in public too seriously. Give public speakers some slack. Recognize that anyone talking in front of others is inclined to temper their words. As you evaluate any speaker’s words, consider whom they were spoken in front of.

Give people an opportunity to talk in front of others rather than directly to others. Group facilitators, moderators, and mediators play this role when we encourage participants to talk to us – explain your story, make your argument, whatever – in front of others. Many people are much more inclined to say their peace in front of their adversaries rather than directly to them.

Talking in-front-of is less effective than talking directly, yet more effective than not talking at all.

 

– Craig Freshley

Click here for one-page PDF of this Tip, a great way to print or share.

 

Put the Tips in action for your group. Click here to learn about Craig’s Keynotes and Seminars.

Reinterpretation

 Good Group Tips

In principle, every story is an interpretation. The storyteller always gets to decide how the story gets told. You might call it “spin” or “take on it.” And every story can be reinterpreted by the players who are in it and by those who hear or learn about it.

Reinterpreting our stories allows us to rewrite history and that can be a good thing.

Changing or ignoring the facts is never wise but looking at the facts in new ways, from new points of view, allows us to learn and understand and make peace with the facts.

Practical Tip: When in pain or conflict, as an individual or as a group, try to look at what happened in a new way. Accept the facts but consider multiple interpretations, other ways to look at it. Discuss with others. Learn to tell the story differently.

Reinterpreting our stories can bring peace.

– Craig Freshley

Click here for one-page PDF of this Tip, a great way to print or share.

Put the Tips in action for your group. Click here to learn about Craig’s Keynotes and Seminars.