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Three Ways to Shred Rapport

A good rapport with someone is worth a lot.

In this video Craig explains three ways to ruin a good rapport. If you do these things to someone it makes it really hard to work with them. Ever.

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Here’s what Craig says in the video

Hi everybody. Hey it’s Craig Freshley here. There are three ways to shred your rapport with somebody.

Having a good rapport with somebody is worth a lot. When I start a new project with somebody that I have a good rapport with, it’s easy. There is a good foundation. It’s like downhill all the way. But when I have to start a new project or collaborate with somebody that I don’t have good rapport with, everything’s a struggle. It’s an uphill battle. We’re starting from a deficit.

You want to ruin rapport with somebody? Here’s three ways.

First of all question their motive. We had Vice President Joe Biden here in Maine a couple months ago. He was giving the commencement address at Colby College and he told everybody that it is always okay to question somebody’s judgment; but the moment you question their motive, from that point on you have made it very difficult to compromise. If you insinuate that somebody is unethical or has a motive that is dishonorable, from that moment on they are on the defensive and you’re going to be wary of each other. You have shredded your rapport with that person.

Way number two. Always try to prove to them that they are wrong. “I’m right and you’re wrong!” It’s so much better — if you want to maintain the relationship — just to stay with “I’m right.” It’s okay to try and persuade somebody else that I’m right if I am open to other things maybe being right also. “I’m right and you’re wrong” shreds rapport.

Number three. Cut off communication. Somebody calls me: I don’t return their calls. Somebody emails me: I don’t write back. When I have decided that that person has nothing worthwhile to say to me — that there is no question they could ask me that I think is worth answering — I have essentially written them off. And when I’m on the receiving end of that, I have no rapport with that person. It’s not a very fun place to be. Why would I do business with a person who has written me off and blocked all communication?

Good rapport is like money in the bank. We can withdraw from it and it makes everything so much easier when we have a large rapport balance with somebody else. Bad rapport is a deficit and everything’s harder.

You want to shred your rapport? Question somebody’s motive. Always try to prove that they’re wrong. And cut off their communications. Those are not good things to do, people. Rather I’m hoping that you maintain good rapport with all the people that you deal with, and make good decisions out there.

Thanks for listening.

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