Tips, Videos, Handouts

Affirm to get along

Craig explains a simple tip that will help you get along with other people and achieve your goals.

The tip? Always affirm what someone says to you before saying something negative or giving your own opinion. You don’t have to totally agree with every statement, just acknowledge that you heard it and affirm that it’s “true for them.”

This video has captions. To see them, click CC on the video screen.

Here’s what Craig says in the video

Hi everybody. Hey it’s Craig Freshley here outside Dysart’s in Bangor, Maine.

There’s this guy named Robert Tracy and he says that 80% of career success is getting along with other people. And there’s this guy Craig Freshley who says 80% of getting along with other people is listening and affirming what they say.

When somebody says something to me I could come right back with my own opinion or I could come right back with something negative. But people are going to WANT to talk with me and do business with me if instead, every time somebody says something to me, I come back with an affirmation of what they said.

This does two things. First of all, it makes people want to interact with me. It helps them feel respected. People like to feel respected. Secondly, it pushes me to have the discipline to actually listen to people. It requires me to be present in the conversation. If I’ve got to repeat back or affirm what they said, I’ve got to listen to what they said.

You want extra points? Don’t just to say a vague statement like, “Oh yeah I get what you’re saying,” or, “I understand.” Actually repeat back a little bit of what they said. “Oh yeah! I agree, that when you get a chicken-pot-pie at Dysart’s it’s got a flakey buttery crust.”

This simple trick of always affirming immediately what somebody says will get you 80% of the way towards getting along with others, and getting along with others will get you 80 % of the way towards your career success and your dreams and goals whatever they are.

Alright, I’m going to head inside and have a trucker’s breakfast at Dysart’s. I hope you make good decisions today. Thanks for listening everybody.

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